Forgiveness

This stren is my attempt to explain why forgiveness is one of (or) the most powerful of mental skills to increase peace-of-mind and peace in the world.

            “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  Perhaps these are among the most important words ever spoken.  Forgiveness = for + giving.  I tend to equate forgiveness with love.  Love is action that adds a positive experience to the world.  It is a gift of our own creation for an “other” and/or our self to enjoy.  I believe forgiveness is primarily a human quality because we create it using our unique language-equipped cortical brain.  For the same reason, we are also distinguished by the degree we engage in hatred, prejudice, resentment, blaming others and ourselves (guilt).  Please consider my explanation of the validity of this insight. 

            Destructive aggression is a basic means earth’s creatures, us included, sustain the life cycle, establish a territory, obtain food, reproduce, and protect their young.  We inherently act to serve our self and those we identify as “our family,” often at the expense of others.  I (and we) am (are) prepared to deal with not I and them with little regard for their well-being.  Imagine how our gene’s message would be expressed in words: 

The world is for your benefit, to provide your needs and wants.  Seek
immediate pleasure; avoid immediate pain.  If it feels good, tastes good,
looks good, sounds good, take it if you can.  Have little regard for the
well-being of what’s not me (us).

            Nature’s way, survival of the fittest, as discussed elsewhere in the Guide, is not a strong supporter of forgiveness.  Quite the opposite!  It may better be described as an advocate of “fortakeness” = for + taking.  The power to dominate others is basic to obtain one’s needs.  Nature’s way is essentially amoral, self-centered, impatient, and an advocate of destructive (and constructive) aggression.        

            With the last to develop portion of the brain, the cortex, we acquire the ability to create symbols, store them, manipulate them to form ideas and concepts, and to effect physical change in the common world we share.  This is a somewhat “magical” feat.  Think about it.  We represent physical reality in our mind by nonphysical concepts and ideas, manipulate these symbols to originate new perspectives, and then, generate will power sufficient to initiate what was not previously present in the common physical reality we share.  If an individual were to show us an empty hat, cover it, and then pull out a rabbit, we may call that person a magician.  With symbols, our mind is regularly performing such magical acts:  physical → mental → will power → physical

            The “magic” within our cortex to transform physical reality into concepts, ideas, and the like using symbols to create virtual or nonphysical reality is what we call consciousness.  The reverse process, whereby we apply our virtual personal reality to make a difference in the common reality is what we call will power.  We can understand that this magical ability of our complex brain requires considerable time to mature; and the degree of magical power will depend not only on the capacity of the cortex but also on the quality of the symbols with which it has to work.  Some thinking programs are more sophisticated than others and of course one’s native language may have been designed to emphasize a limited perspective.

            I believe the truth of the matter is that the earliest programming of consciousness is dominated by our genes survival of the fittest, fight or flight perspective.  Our first symbols emphasize “fortakeness.”  They are the mental equivalents of nature’s repertoire of physical behavior.  Symbolic dominance and aggression are an alternative to physical dominance and aggression.  Physical might is replaced by economic, political, and/or religious symbols of power – money, expensive “toys,” titles, “beauty,” approval, patriotism, and a variety of symbolic rewards limited only by our imagination.  Hatred, resentment, jealousy, greed, and the like become the symbolic replacements for fighting.           

            Would you now envision that in just the manner we organize our symbols to create harmful aggression to dominate and control others, this same resource is available to us to create love, cooperation, sharing, philanthropy, happiness, peace of mind, and yes, even peace-in-the-world.  These positive qualities of our manner of thinking are quite difficult to create when our thinking is occupied with the first manner of harmful aggression we acquire as part of our nature.  Forgiveness is a basic mental strength that allows us to move on to those mental “magical” uses of symbols that express constructive use of our aggressive energy.  For this reason, forgiveness is one of our most powerful assets.

            Forgiveness, like love, is quite rare in our world compared to our preoccupation with the fortakeness expressed in the various forms of harmful aggression mentioned above.  I believe we may each acquire skill in directing our thinking to love and forgive.  The secret is to practice self-endorsement.  We will continue to have great difficulty giving to others what we lack in ourselves.  This is why the Guide emphasizes practical strens on self-endorsement.  I believe we are fully capable of manufacturing love as we manufacture hate.  However, directing our mental energy to constructive aggression is a skill that must be cultivated, unlike the destructive bent that is pre-wired into our thinking by our trial-and-error genetic history.  I hope this theory stren will motivate you to attend to the skills of love and forgiveness.  I, and you, and our world benefits by every individual who converts their mental manufacturing plant to produce love more so than the harmful aggression.             

            Before leaving this consideration of forgiveness, I want to address a common misconception.  Forgiveness is not meant to free others or ourselves from responsibility; it does not excuse harmful action.    In addition to freeing our self from energy draining preoccupation such as resentment, forgiveness redirects our innate responses that call for punishment and destructive aggression to instead provide education, rehabilitation, problem-solving, and appropriate limit-setting.  It allows us to address the issue in a manner that has the most productive outcome for all parties.  The distinction between punishment and limit-setting is subtle but significant.¹