The First Language Stren - review

This ANWOT language stren provides in its most simple form the beginning language changes that will make a significant step towards A Newer Way of Thinking (ANWOT).  It is so important that I urge regular review to keep it fresh.

1. Whenever possible and reasonable, substitute descriptive words for prescriptive words:
   
   Prescriptive words:  [“shoulding” on others and/or one’s self!
   
   [I, he, she, they, it] Should, have to, ought to, must,
   [negative versions] should not, must not, cannot, etc.
   
   Preferred Descriptive words:
   [I] Could, choose, prefer, would like, want, can, I am wise when …
   
   
2. Whenever possible and reasonable, avoid dichotomous words that restrict your thinking to only two categories:
   
   Dichotomous “either … or” words:
   Either … or, right or wrong, good or bad, black or white, win or lose, all or none, for or against, you or me, them or us, always or never, love or hate, etc.
   
   Preferred Analog “both … and” words:
   Both…and, what benefits me and you, us and them, the likes and dislikes of each alternative.  The world is not either…or as conveyed in our early language.  Consider the positives and negatives of each alternative; a bit of this and a bit of that.  Most alternatives have +’s and –‘s on each side.  Choices are rarely all right or all wrong as commonly perceived in our first manner of thinking.  Mature thinking emphasizes wisely considering the +’s and –‘s of many alternatives and making our choice right more so than making the right choice.]  Either…or thinking is the major source of prejudice, hatred, and harmful aggression; we are prone to label our side right/good, the other side wrong/bad.
   
   
3. Whenever possible and reasonable, use first person “responsibility” words rather than “other person” blaming words:
   
   Dependency words:
   He, she, it, they, the weather, God, etc. makes me …. [Harmful physical and/or mental aggression is a common action outcome when we combine an “other person” word with a prescriptive word.]
   
   Personal Responsibility substitute:
   I allow myself, I choose, I prefer, etc.
   
   Explanation (other practical language strens will provide more comprehensive explanations):

      During our first 10-20 years of life, when we are physically and mentally immature and dependent, our parents, teachers, and nurturers provide us the words and directions we can understand.  [You should listen to me.  Don’t touch the oven.  You must eat your vegetables.  You have to go to school.]   Blind obedience to authority is our first manner of thinking.  We become use to being controlled by forces outside ourselves.  For many years we expect others will take care of us and direct us.  Blaming someone or something for what we “should” receive, but don’t, is natural.  As we use these prescriptive, dichotomous, other person words in processing information, with hundreds and thousands of repetitions, our manner of processing data becomes routine.  Habits, once established tend to continue automatically.  Irrespective of one’s “geographic” language (English, Russian, Chinese, etc.) and cultural origin, our dependency manner of processing information can be expected to be prevalent within our childhood manner of thinking, our “native” language.  Since prolonged nurturance is characteristic of humanity, all early (native) languages emphasize the prescriptive, dichotomous, dependency manner of thinking that governs our life’s experience, unless and until we update our thinking with the skills appropriate for maturity.       

      As we acquire maturity and the ability to free our self from the manner of thinking imbedded in our native language, our manner of thinking continues to be guided by these early patterns.  Unfortunately, our establishment has yet to give adequate attention to provide formal educational programs that update the way we think to better manage maturity.  We automatically attain physical maturity and independence while we sustain our mental dependency on others.  This is a mismatch.  We fail to keep up with the new demands upon us to take personal responsibility for our thinking, feelings, and thereby actions.  Much if not most of the misery we experience is due to our own manner of thinking: blaming others, blaming ourselves (guilt, shame, self-putdowns), dependency on approval from others, need to win, to “beat” others in competition, and so on.  Dichotomous (either … or, right … wrong, etc.) thinking leads to distorted perception of reality, prejudice, and destructive combat.  The good news is that simple word substitutions, what I call “trigger words”, change the manner we process information.  They lead to more accurate thinking.  They provide the basis to take responsibility for our feeling good and doing good.