The Gift of Giving

This values stren considers what is perhaps the most fulfilling act we may perform, the gift of giving.

            Most persons enjoy receiving gifts.  Most also enjoy giving gifts.  Some even experience more joy in giving than in receiving.  Be a giver and a receiver; give your self a gift, “the gift of giving.”  The gift of giving is a gift of love.

            A gift is something of value that one offers to another for their benefit.  It may be physical or nonphysical.  A gift is given without the expectancy that the other person gives something in return or acts as the giver wishes.  Too often, what the giver calls a “gift” is not a gift; it is better described as a business transaction.  The gift is given to get!  The “gift” may be a subtle form of “lording over” self-aggrandizement, a blatant bribe, or a simple plea for approval.   A true gift is an expression of love.  It is a transaction complete in itself.  The giver endorses himself/herself and does not depend that a condition be met.  Acknowledgement is welcomed and appreciated but not needed.  The gift may even be anonymous.  The giver, or “lover,” is sufficiently mature that he/she is not dependent on the outcome of the gift to joyfully experience giving. 

            In Your love-making factory stren, I have described “love” as the use of one’s energy for another’s well-being.  Our self is the first “other” worthy of love.  We initially generate love by acquiring the skill of self-endorsement.  In filling our own cup, we create an abundance of love.  It spills over and out.  It is difficult to give away what we don’t have.  When you have learned the skill of filling your own cup, you have matured out of the early stage of being a “love junkie.”   You need no longer be dependent on others.  Do you see why it is important that you acquire the skill of self-endorsement, of giving to your self?   Treating your self as your own best friend is not selfish; it is the way you prepare your self to become a valuable contributor to the larger system of which you are a part.  A warning: remember you are human!  Do your “reasonable best” to be a good lover.  Don’t expect perfection.  Learn from, rather than demean yourself for your shortcomings.

            Could you imagine that by being an appreciative “receiver” of a gift, you are giving a gift?  Most gift givers have not fully mastered the skill of self-endorsement.  To whatever degree the givers skill is incomplete, your gracious acceptance can be very supportive.  The ability to accept love is equally important as the skill of offering love.  Some are far more accomplished in one more than the other.  How do you stand on each?       

            Have you considered a will?  A will takes into account the possessions you have accumulated and describes the manner you choose (“will”) to pass on what you own to your loved ones.  Traditionally, the will is your statement of the distribution of your “worldly goods,” almost always the material wealth you have spent your life’s energy accumulating.   Often, persons would like to have more goods to pass on than they have actually accumulated.  The government and administrators often diminish what we have worked for by a considerable amount.

            Have you considered adding to your will a “gift of wisdom” to your “gift of material goods?”  You have worked hard for your worldly wisdom.  Your gift of wisdom will not diminish you in any way.  Indeed, the planning and preparation of gifts of wisdom can add considerable satisfaction throughout your lifetime.   Wisdom, unlike material goods, is not taxable, and there are little or no administrative fees.  Your insights may be the most valuable possession you have.  And it is quite easy to prepare your will of worldly wisdom.  The Guide contains much of my accumulated wealth of worldly wisdom.  Virtually all my wisdom was willingly passed on to me by others and acquired through investment of my own mental energy.  I am confident you have similarly acquired what you possess, both passively and through active selection. 

            See how easy you may prepare your own worldly wisdom!  You may simply make a copy of this disk, delete anything you don’t like, add what you will, and make it your own gift, to keep and/or offer.  I would be delighted if you can use anything contained in the Guide.  But you need not refer here at all!  Start from “scratch” if you prefer.  Take from anywhere that is meaningful and/or be as original as you like.  If you create no record of your accumulated wisdom, your mental wealth will be wasted.

            I have heard it said that four qualities contribute to a well managed life: the skill of expressing love, the skill of receiving love, the skill of expressing anger, and the skill of receiving anger.  Which is your weakest link?  A bit of consideration is worthwhile.    

 

To receive a gift is truly a pleasure.  But isn’t the giver receiving the treasure.
                                                                                    Anon.