Here’s a bonus tip on secondary blaming. When you recognize that you are engaged in blaming or any variety of negative thinking, instead of the usual put-downs because you’re still putting yourself down, remind yourself that the very act of recognizing your negative self-talk is worthy of a self-endorsement. Instead of pulling yourself down with each act of blaming-in, endorse yourself for the important act of recognizing your negative thinking. Then add a secondary endorsement to reinforce your new behavior. When you endorse yourself for endorsing yourself, you pull yourself up and keep yourself up.
Just as secondary blaming is a variation of blaming yourself, secondary endorsement is a special variation of self-endorsement. Teach yourself to become consciously aware of any endorsement you initiate when you do something worthwhile. As soon as you recognize that you’re endorsing yourself, enthusiastically call forth images such as blinking lights, musical accolades, and cheers as your signal to automatically trigger the secondary endorsement you deserve for endorsing yourself. This reinforcement can escalate the intensity of the immediate pleasure you experience and create the energy you need to overcome your old, established, negative patterns. Once the patterns of blaming, avoidance, worry, and helplessness/hopelessness are established within you, they cling tenaciously until you substitute the positive pattern of self-endorsement.
Practice: Endorse yourself again each time you catch yourself endorsing yourself.
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