Today I want to reveal the secret of creating patience. In the last stren I explained that through our decades of immaturity, instinct and tradition powerfully direct our thinking because they are hard-wired to emotion. They advocate the predetermined, proven solutions that worked for yesterday’s problems. As our intelligent cortex matures, it may recognize outdated behaviors and devise better solutions. We require patience to imagine alternative solutions, to choose the best one, and to create pathways to reach the preferred future goal. However, intelligence by itself is not sufficiently powerful to overcome emotion. So often, we impulsively do what gives us immediate satisfaction or relieves discomfort even though we clearly recognize it isn’t in our best interests. We require patience to educate ourselves in the wisdoms that free our thinking from dictators and learn to wisely self-manage our creative power. We create patience by equipping intelligence with emotion. The most effective means to attach emotion to intelligence is endorsement.
Now the secret is revealed! The means we use to create patience is self-endorsement. We are dependent on others for survival and for our emotional requirements throughout our immature years. When we “Do as they say” we are rewarded with approval and we avoid punishment. This is why we obey instinct and tradition, the early dictators who establish the way we think during our prolonged immature years. As we attain sufficient physical and mental maturity, we can become our own source of endorsement. Self-endorsement, like patience, is an acquired skill! There are many easy to learn self-endorsement methods.
There you have it! The secret of acquiring sufficient patience to become our own person, to free ourselves from dictators and assume responsibility for our life’s experience is self-endorsement! Each self-endorsement skill serves as a new word-switch to strengthen our will power. Instinct and tradition are hard-wired to apply yesterday’s solutions to yesterday’s problems. They are not equipped to flexibly apply the common sense problem-solving wisdoms we need to create new solutions to new problems. The outcome is often short term gain at the price of long term pain. Self-endorsement is the means by which we create the immediate emotional reward that frees us from instinct and tradition to pursue long term gain. Self-endorsement skills create the patience to switch a traditional win/lose outcome to a win/win outcome. This is why I have included many easily taught self-endorsement skills in these strens (#2, #16-24). I urge you to continue to seek additional ones from the many resources available.
I have observed that the common tradition of most nurturers is to teach virtually every useful skill except those having to do with self-endorsement. We are taught a language, a religion, a political ideology, to whom and what we are to owe our allegiance, how to take care of our body, even what to think. Skills in emotional self-endorsement are not only not taught, we are taught not to do so. One person recalled the specific admonition from his mother, “Saying nice things about your self is bragging, egotistical! Praise only counts if it comes from others.” This is the reason so many individuals go through life as “love junkies,” addicted to others’ approval. They become deeply distressed when approval is not forthcoming.
The self-endorsement methods presented here, along with many readily available elsewhere satisfy our need for immediate reward. They inspire us to pursue the common sense solutions that are necessary for long term benefits.
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