Fortakeness is natural; forgiveness is learned with common sense wisdom!
We each harbor within us a terrorist whose main activity is demeaning, guilting, and putdowns. By recognizing that self-centered behavior, lack of respect, and insensitivity to not me or not our tribe is nature’s way, we more easily learn to forgive ourselves for being what we are taught is unacceptable and deserving of punishment. Until you forgive yourself for the destructive energy you don’t like in yourself, you will remain a servant to instinct, tradition, and human dictators, unable to fully assume your opportunity to love yourself and thereby love others. The first step to love others is acquiring skill in loving yourself. Understanding that harmful aggression is within each of us enables us to be more tolerant of the annoyances we see in others. We are more likely to perceive the other as in need of education in civility and limit setting instead of a personal attack deserving of punishment. Understanding makes it possible to forgive, love, and offer help rather than express the “retaliation” that escalates our negative energy to destructive confrontation. Problem-solving is more effective than punishment.
Forgiveness is a new human quality compared to the traditional fortakeness expressed in various forms of harmful aggression; our intelligence is initially designed to enhance our warrior/terrorist biology! Forgiveness is the secret ingredient we require to create authentic love, to generate the self-endorsement that frees us from instinct and tradition. We can’t give away what we don’t have! We will continue to have great difficulty giving love to others when we lack it in ourselves, when our factory space is dedicated to blaming. This is why I emphasize self-endorsement strens. As powerful creators we are as fully capable of teaching ourselves to create love as nature would have us manufacture harmful aggression.
O.K., let’s come back to our starting point, the magician who puts a rabbit in a hat and pulls out a cat. Each of us can acquire the magical skill of transforming fortakeness and other forms of harmful aggression into love and helpful aggression. But before we can engage in the many self-endorsement skills that enable us to create love, we need to overcome the negative emotions that resist giving of ourselves to benefit others. We must create a quantity of the magical ingredient – forgiveness. Forgiveness allows us to create love-making space in our mental energy factory.
Hate -10 -9 -8 -7 -6 -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 -0- +1 +2 +3 +4 +5 +6 +7 +8 +9 +10 Love
Forgiveness ⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒⇒ Love
Forgiveness has been described as a higher energy expression of love. When we already feel offended enough to experience resentment, we require greater energy to create mature love because we are already functioning at a negative energy level. Whether the perceived injustice was valid or not, the negative feelings need to be neutralized before we can create the positive feelings that benefit us and the world. Clearly, letting go of resentment is harder than creating love. Directing our fortakeness energy to forgiveness, to constructive aggression, is a skill that must be cultivated, unlike the destructive bent that has been pre-wired into our thinking through genes and habit. We come to appreciate the joy of giving, which is greater than that of receiving, through experience.
Forgiveness is the magical ingredient that empowers us to transform the negative emotions in our hat and pull out loving energy. We have seen, especially in the last 100 years, that human selection is joining natural selection in deciding who shall live and who shall become extinct. At issue is personal responsibility. During our early “magic years” things seemed to automatically happen without our help and we could not make much of a difference in our lives. Our path was directed by others. We were more in a position to rebel against others than to initiate our own creativity. This early experience makes it difficult to recognize we must create what we want in our life. Human selection has suddenly become the powerful force that is determining the condition of our planet and the fate of the life it supports. Unlearning blaming is a difficult but necessary task.
- Category: The Maxi Course
- Written by Don Pet
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